I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
