Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I think people are normalizing furries
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
