It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
