Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
this will be a night to untag.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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