I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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