as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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