"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
