SEEEEXXX PLEASE
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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