Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
