You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
