At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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