I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
