happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
