I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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