Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
