her vagine was all disorganized.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You made out with two different species that night
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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