We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
