we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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