quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
