Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
