Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
