WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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