Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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