I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
me + whiskey = a bad person
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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