You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
