No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Never joke about your clitoris.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
