He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
How naked do you want me to be?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
