I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
