I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
