I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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