Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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