HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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