Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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