If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
