so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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