Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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