i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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