Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
