your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
