cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
