I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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