Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
