Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
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