I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
