Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
