Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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