oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
