Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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