Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
