omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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