Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
