i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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