What a fucking waste of an outfit
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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