And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i think i scared a bird with my dick
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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