you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
