I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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