Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
