He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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